1
00:00:05,541 --> 00:00:07,508
All right, this has been
here for two weeks.

2
00:00:07,543 --> 00:00:11,179
Let's see what suggestions
people have to improve the bar.

3
00:00:11,213 --> 00:00:13,248
Wow, I got some work to do.

4
00:00:13,282 --> 00:00:14,983
This is a stupid idea.

5
00:00:15,017 --> 00:00:17,252
Why would you ever want to
listen to your customers?

6
00:00:17,286 --> 00:00:19,287
It's called
consumer feedback, ma.

7
00:00:19,321 --> 00:00:21,389
It gives people a sense
of stakes in the bar.

8
00:00:21,423 --> 00:00:23,958
Besides, there might be
something constructive in here.

9
00:00:23,993 --> 00:00:26,327
Like, uh... "Tits."

10
00:00:26,362 --> 00:00:29,931
Oh, yes.
That's very constructive.

11
00:00:29,965 --> 00:00:33,201
Okay, okay. One bad one.
Here we go. Uh...

12
00:00:33,235 --> 00:00:36,471
Ah, "a light appetizer menu
would be nice."

13
00:00:36,505 --> 00:00:38,339
"See other side.

14
00:00:38,374 --> 00:00:39,941
With tits."

15
00:00:42,077 --> 00:00:45,213
Let's hear what more of your
genius customers have to say.

16
00:00:45,247 --> 00:00:47,081
Oh, give the kid a break.

17
00:00:47,116 --> 00:00:49,984
It's important to
listen to your customers.

18
00:00:50,019 --> 00:00:52,420
"The Korean lady was rude,
threatening,

19
00:00:52,454 --> 00:00:54,656
"and tried to run
our credit card twice.

20
00:00:54,690 --> 00:00:58,026
We will never come back."

21
00:00:58,060 --> 00:01:00,495
Joke's on them...
I did run it twice.

22
00:01:00,529 --> 00:01:06,301
All right, all right.
Here's one. Um...

23
00:01:06,335 --> 00:01:09,570
I believe this bar's harboring
a member of Al-Qaeda"?

24
00:01:09,605 --> 00:01:10,905
What?

25
00:01:10,939 --> 00:01:12,974
Sorry, I thought
it was a mailbox.

26
00:01:13,008 --> 00:01:16,577
But your reaction's interesting.

27
00:01:16,612 --> 00:01:22,317
"The hot paramedic who's always
in here should go out with me."

28
00:01:22,351 --> 00:01:24,452
I hope it is that doctor who comes
in here after work in his scrubs

29
00:01:24,486 --> 00:01:27,121
and that three-day scruff
with those biceps.

30
00:01:27,156 --> 00:01:30,224
"Signed, Maurice."

31
00:01:34,330 --> 00:01:37,498
At least you gave
the suggestion box a shot.

32
00:01:37,533 --> 00:01:40,368
Well, I'm going down swinging.
I'm gonna read this last one.

33
00:01:40,402 --> 00:01:42,437
Uh, "suggestion..."
That one's from me.

34
00:01:42,471 --> 00:01:47,408
"...take two steps back
and two steps to your left."

35
00:01:52,581 --> 00:01:57,385
Suggestion...
no more suggestions.

36
00:01:58,097 --> 00:02:01,297
sync and corrections by bellows
www.addic7ed.com

37
00:02:01,423 --> 00:02:05,360
♪ Da da da da,
da da da, da, da da ♪

38
00:02:05,394 --> 00:02:09,497
♪ da, da da da, da da da

39
00:02:09,531 --> 00:02:13,568
♪ da da da da,
da da da, da da da ♪

40
00:02:13,602 --> 00:02:19,374
♪ da da da da, da da da,
da da da, da da da, hey! ♪

41
00:02:19,408 --> 00:02:22,410
Wow. This new weather girl
is really on her game.

42
00:02:22,444 --> 00:02:25,012
She's gotten the weather right
15 days in a row.

43
00:02:25,047 --> 00:02:26,714
Steve,
you need to get out more.

44
00:02:26,749 --> 00:02:28,249
Weather girls?

45
00:02:28,283 --> 00:02:29,517
Whatever happened
to the good old days,

46
00:02:29,551 --> 00:02:31,519
when weathermen were actual men

47
00:02:31,553 --> 00:02:34,288
and had man names
like "storm field"

48
00:02:34,323 --> 00:02:37,024
and "Sam Hail"
"Johnny Thunder"?

49
00:02:37,059 --> 00:02:39,727
Just saying those names
makes me misty.

50
00:02:39,762 --> 00:02:42,430
There's another one...
Frank Misty.

51
00:02:42,464 --> 00:02:45,767
The new girl who does
the sports is really good, too.

52
00:02:45,801 --> 00:02:48,169
Okay, now, this is where
I draw the line.

53
00:02:48,203 --> 00:02:50,304
What the hell do women
know about sports?

54
00:02:50,339 --> 00:02:52,173
That is so offensive.

55
00:02:52,207 --> 00:02:54,442
Women can be just
as knowledgeable as men.

56
00:02:54,476 --> 00:02:57,478
If you're gonna talk about
balls, you should have them.

57
00:02:59,081 --> 00:03:01,649
Steve, two beers.

58
00:03:01,683 --> 00:03:03,418
Well, someone's not
wasting any time today.

59
00:03:03,452 --> 00:03:05,486
No, one of them's for my mom.
She's moving back to Pittsburgh.

60
00:03:05,521 --> 00:03:07,422
That's great your mom's
moving back, Roy.

61
00:03:07,456 --> 00:03:09,690
I know there's been some tension
between you and her

62
00:03:09,725 --> 00:03:12,160
- since she and your dad split up.
- Yeah.

63
00:03:12,194 --> 00:03:13,694
This will give us a chance
to make things better.

64
00:03:13,729 --> 00:03:15,763
Hang out a little bit.

65
00:03:15,798 --> 00:03:17,698
No complications...
just us.

66
00:03:17,733 --> 00:03:19,400
I really want to be
close to my mom again.

67
00:03:19,435 --> 00:03:21,169
You know, I think a good way
to start off would be

68
00:03:21,203 --> 00:03:23,438
to get her a present...
like a man.

69
00:03:24,339 --> 00:03:26,774
They're so much fun to unwrap.

70
00:03:26,809 --> 00:03:29,110
And Denzel Washington is
filming a movie in Pittsburgh.

71
00:03:29,144 --> 00:03:30,645
Don't ask me how I know,

72
00:03:30,679 --> 00:03:33,114
but he's staying at the Ritz,
room 819.

73
00:03:33,148 --> 00:03:36,484
Registered under
the name "Mr. Lincoln."

74
00:03:36,518 --> 00:03:38,519
I don't want to think
about my mom dating.

75
00:03:38,554 --> 00:03:40,521
Well, in case
you change your mind,

76
00:03:40,556 --> 00:03:43,791
Cedric the entertainer is
at the Imperial motel, room 109.

77
00:03:43,826 --> 00:03:46,727
Registered under the name
"Cedric the entertainer."

78
00:03:47,596 --> 00:03:48,863
With your mom's face,

79
00:03:48,897 --> 00:03:50,798
she'd have better luck
with Stevie Wonder.

80
00:03:54,136 --> 00:03:56,103
You keep the jokes
coming, Hank.

81
00:03:56,138 --> 00:03:58,105
She's outside
parking the car right now,

82
00:03:58,140 --> 00:04:00,241
and it's gonna be
just like the old days...

83
00:04:00,275 --> 00:04:03,044
she's gonna hear your racist
crap and rip you a new one.

84
00:04:03,078 --> 00:04:04,312
Well, I hope so,

85
00:04:04,346 --> 00:04:07,715
because the old one's
not working so great.

86
00:04:07,749 --> 00:04:10,184
Those battles between
Hank and your mom were epic.

87
00:04:10,219 --> 00:04:12,220
Yeah, remember that time
in pee-wee hockey

88
00:04:12,254 --> 00:04:13,488
when Hank yelled at Roy...

89
00:04:13,522 --> 00:04:15,089
"Why can't you skate?

90
00:04:15,123 --> 00:04:17,225
I thought you people
were good with blades."

91
00:04:17,259 --> 00:04:21,429
And then Roy's mom tried to
run Hank over with a zamboni.

92
00:04:21,463 --> 00:04:23,564
Yeah, and when she got on,
it could barely move.

93
00:04:23,599 --> 00:04:26,300
I never saw
a zamboni cry before.

94
00:04:26,335 --> 00:04:30,538
You talking about me,
you weeble-shaped leprechaun?

95
00:04:31,807 --> 00:04:33,641
Look at you, Hank.

96
00:04:33,675 --> 00:04:35,776
I could say
you got old, bald, and fat,

97
00:04:35,811 --> 00:04:38,212
but that's exactly
how I remember you.

98
00:04:39,581 --> 00:04:43,117
Is that the best you got?

99
00:04:43,151 --> 00:04:45,553
Well, the old gray mare,
she ain't what she used to be.

100
00:04:45,587 --> 00:04:46,687
You calling me old?

101
00:04:46,722 --> 00:04:48,155
And gray...

102
00:04:48,190 --> 00:04:50,491
but one of them
isn't exactly accurate.

103
00:04:50,526 --> 00:04:52,293
I should have said
"black beauty,"

104
00:04:52,327 --> 00:04:55,296
but one of those
wouldn't be accurate, either.

105
00:04:55,330 --> 00:04:58,432
Look who's judging beauty,
Mr. potato head.

106
00:05:00,202 --> 00:05:02,803
Aw, shit!

107
00:05:04,473 --> 00:05:06,507
Round one to mama.

108
00:05:06,542 --> 00:05:09,577
Uh, not yet.
It's not over till she sings.

109
00:05:09,611 --> 00:05:11,412
Well, I'll sing
at your funeral.

110
00:05:11,446 --> 00:05:13,247
Just give me
a minute to change.

111
00:05:13,282 --> 00:05:16,784
What are you gonna do, slip into
a bedazzled circus tent?

112
00:05:17,719 --> 00:05:20,187
This from a man
whose belly leaves the room

113
00:05:20,222 --> 00:05:22,557
10 minutes before he does?

114
00:05:23,759 --> 00:05:26,460
You better go break it up.
Why me?

115
00:05:26,495 --> 00:05:28,229
Steve, did I ever tell you
about the first time

116
00:05:28,263 --> 00:05:29,597
your mother and I made love?

117
00:05:29,631 --> 00:05:30,831
It was a windy day,
in the fields of Korea...

118
00:05:30,866 --> 00:05:32,833
I'm going.

119
00:05:32,868 --> 00:05:35,436
Rose, since the day
I bought this bar,

120
00:05:35,470 --> 00:05:36,771
I've been looking to
get you a drink. Oh.

121
00:05:36,805 --> 00:05:38,205
Make it the usual...

122
00:05:38,240 --> 00:05:39,674
Hennessy
in a brown-paper bag.

123
00:05:41,476 --> 00:05:44,178
And send the bill
to the American taxpayer!

124
00:05:44,212 --> 00:05:46,781
Bang! Round two to
the great white hope.

125
00:05:46,815 --> 00:05:48,716
Oh, just one punch, Hank,

126
00:05:48,750 --> 00:05:52,353
and they'll call it
"the thrilla in vanilla"!

127
00:05:55,524 --> 00:05:57,425
Come on, honey.
We have to go soon.

128
00:05:57,459 --> 00:05:58,759
What are you guys doing?

129
00:05:58,794 --> 00:06:01,732
My mom's taking me
to the dentist.

130
00:06:01,766 --> 00:06:03,834
Yot afraid of the dentist.

131
00:06:03,868 --> 00:06:06,937
I'm afraid of his laughing gas
and his erection.

132
00:06:09,641 --> 00:06:11,341
Whoa, check her out.

133
00:06:11,376 --> 00:06:13,710
Hey, wait a minute.
I know that girl. That's April.

134
00:06:13,745 --> 00:06:14,912
We dated.
When?

135
00:06:14,946 --> 00:06:16,380
We were on
the same flight together

136
00:06:16,414 --> 00:06:18,315
coming back from Chicago.

137
00:06:18,349 --> 00:06:19,716
That's not a date.

138
00:06:19,751 --> 00:06:20,951
Yes, it is.

139
00:06:20,985 --> 00:06:23,587
We had dinner, drinks,
and watched a movie.

140
00:06:23,621 --> 00:06:25,789
Owen, that's a seat assignment.

141
00:06:25,823 --> 00:06:27,891
I don't care what you say.
It was a date.

142
00:06:27,926 --> 00:06:29,259
She never left my side.

143
00:06:29,294 --> 00:06:30,661
She was strapped to a chair.

144
00:06:30,695 --> 00:06:32,529
Now it sounds like a date.

145
00:06:32,564 --> 00:06:34,898
I'm going to go talk to her.

146
00:06:34,933 --> 00:06:36,400
You can't hit
on your buddy's ex.

147
00:06:36,434 --> 00:06:38,435
She's not your ex.
You're out of your mind.

148
00:06:38,469 --> 00:06:40,771
Dude, that's a major
bro-code violation.

149
00:06:40,805 --> 00:06:41,838
Just don't, okay?

150
00:06:41,873 --> 00:06:44,374
Fine, I'll stay away.

151
00:06:44,409 --> 00:06:45,709
Thanks.

152
00:06:45,743 --> 00:06:48,245
Steve, can I get
a ruling on this?

153
00:06:48,279 --> 00:06:53,517
The girl in question just
looked over and smiled at me.

154
00:06:53,551 --> 00:06:55,991
Well, as a lawyer, I would say
you made an implicit agreement.

155
00:06:58,990 --> 00:07:01,225
I'd also say that
a plane flight is not a date,

156
00:07:01,259 --> 00:07:03,327
and Owen is out of his mind.

157
00:07:04,662 --> 00:07:05,662
Thanks, Steve.

158
00:07:12,179 --> 00:07:14,614
So, Jack, you sold
the bar to Steve.

159
00:07:14,649 --> 00:07:16,683
How does it feel being retired?

160
00:07:16,717 --> 00:07:19,085
I'll let you know
after I wipe down the bar

161
00:07:19,120 --> 00:07:21,955
and move
this 80-pound keg.

162
00:07:21,989 --> 00:07:23,957
I'm going to have to
ask you to leave.

163
00:07:23,991 --> 00:07:25,825
Your weave is a fire hazard.

164
00:07:25,860 --> 00:07:27,694
Hank...

165
00:07:27,728 --> 00:07:31,097
You are living proof
that even God gets drunk.

166
00:07:31,132 --> 00:07:33,733
And you... you touch
me with that finger,

167
00:07:33,768 --> 00:07:35,735
I'll put it where
you'll be giving yourself

168
00:07:35,770 --> 00:07:39,072
a permanent prostate exam.

169
00:07:39,106 --> 00:07:40,674
Touché, madam.

170
00:07:40,708 --> 00:07:42,976
A tip of the big
Sunday church hat to you.

171
00:07:47,315 --> 00:07:48,848
What the hell?

172
00:07:50,584 --> 00:07:52,819
Can I talk to you?

173
00:07:52,853 --> 00:07:55,021
Excuse me.

174
00:07:55,056 --> 00:07:57,023
What are you doing? You promised
you wouldn't hit on April.

175
00:07:57,058 --> 00:07:59,893
I didn't. She came onto me.
She's so aggressive.

176
00:07:59,927 --> 00:08:00,961
What did she do?

177
00:08:00,995 --> 00:08:03,496
She looked at me.

178
00:08:03,531 --> 00:08:05,532
That's how she reeled me in
on the airplane.

179
00:08:05,566 --> 00:08:06,800
And Steve said it was fine.

180
00:08:06,834 --> 00:08:07,968
Steve, what the hell?

181
00:08:08,002 --> 00:08:09,869
Ahmed's violating the bro code.

182
00:08:09,904 --> 00:08:10,971
Owen, you were never
really dating her.

183
00:08:11,005 --> 00:08:12,205
Yes, I was.

184
00:08:12,239 --> 00:08:15,869
Without the bro code,
what do we have?

185
00:08:15,903 --> 00:08:18,705
Tion for all modern law.

186
00:08:18,739 --> 00:08:20,640
That and
"finders, keepers."

187
00:08:20,675 --> 00:08:22,642
See? I found her...
I get to keep her.

188
00:08:22,677 --> 00:08:23,743
You never had her.

189
00:08:23,778 --> 00:08:25,712
I gave her my nuts.

190
00:08:27,048 --> 00:08:29,249
Two bags.

191
00:08:29,283 --> 00:08:30,884
I'm getting my woman back.

192
00:08:30,918 --> 00:08:33,253
Try, and it'll be the
last thing you ever do.

193
00:08:33,287 --> 00:08:34,654
Okay.

194
00:08:34,689 --> 00:08:35,856
Looks like it's you
and me, buddy...

195
00:08:35,890 --> 00:08:37,290
dude on dude.

196
00:08:39,193 --> 00:08:42,295
Let me rephrase that...
dude vs. dude.

197
00:08:42,330 --> 00:08:44,865
When you go down,
I'm going to enjoy it.

198
00:08:46,801 --> 00:08:49,035
Let me rephrase that.

199
00:08:49,070 --> 00:08:51,905
I could easily
get you to go down.

200
00:08:51,939 --> 00:08:55,041
Do you want to rephrase that?

201
00:08:55,076 --> 00:08:57,043
Nah, I'm good.
It's already working.

202
00:08:57,078 --> 00:08:58,778
I'm already inside you.

203
00:08:58,813 --> 00:09:00,780
This is weird.

204
00:09:00,815 --> 00:09:01,855
How do we get out of this?

205
00:09:01,883 --> 00:09:03,250
We can start
by taking a step back.

206
00:09:16,330 --> 00:09:18,265
Holy shit.

207
00:09:27,867 --> 00:09:30,235
Okay. What the hell
is going on here?

208
00:09:30,270 --> 00:09:34,340
What did it look like?
We were getting hot and heavy.

209
00:09:34,374 --> 00:09:36,842
Yeah. She's hot,
and I'm heavy.

210
00:09:36,876 --> 00:09:41,270
Aren't you a clever
little tub of white goo.

211
00:09:42,539 --> 00:09:44,106
Meet me later, hanky.

212
00:09:44,141 --> 00:09:46,542
I'm gonna take you
to funky town.

213
00:09:49,212 --> 00:09:54,150
I am the caboose
to her soul train.

214
00:09:54,184 --> 00:09:56,218
I thought you hated each other.
What is going on?

215
00:09:56,253 --> 00:09:58,688
I know it's weird.
She's Roy's mom.

216
00:09:58,722 --> 00:10:00,289
That's not the only weird part.

217
00:10:00,323 --> 00:10:02,725
How do you go from
calling each other "cracker"

218
00:10:02,759 --> 00:10:05,428
and "chocolate thunder"
five minutes ago to this?

219
00:10:05,462 --> 00:10:08,297
It's all a swirly blur.

220
00:10:08,331 --> 00:10:10,566
I guess you don't fight
with somebody for 30 years

221
00:10:10,600 --> 00:10:13,069
without some kind of
sparks flying.

222
00:10:13,103 --> 00:10:15,438
I'm having fun with this lady.

223
00:10:15,472 --> 00:10:17,707
But this is
a one-time thing, right?

224
00:10:17,741 --> 00:10:19,208
What are you talking about?

225
00:10:19,242 --> 00:10:20,676
She just invited me
to funky town.

226
00:10:20,711 --> 00:10:23,212
Are you gonna tell Roy?

227
00:10:23,246 --> 00:10:25,614
Stop asking me questions.

228
00:10:25,649 --> 00:10:28,718
There's not much blood
in my brain right now.

229
00:10:28,752 --> 00:10:30,853
I'll tell him when I need to.

230
00:10:30,887 --> 00:10:33,322
What am I gonna
tell him, again?

231
00:10:33,356 --> 00:10:35,624
See?! There's
no blood up here!

232
00:10:39,296 --> 00:10:40,496
Psst!

233
00:10:40,530 --> 00:10:42,398
You were in there
the whole time?

234
00:10:42,432 --> 00:10:43,866
I fought in the jungles of Nam.

235
00:10:43,900 --> 00:10:46,235
The first thing we learned?
How to crap quietly.

236
00:10:47,671 --> 00:10:50,372
If rose starts dating Hank,
Roy is gonna freak out.

237
00:10:50,407 --> 00:10:52,641
And that's gonna drive
an even bigger wedge

238
00:10:52,676 --> 00:10:53,843
between him and his mom.

239
00:10:53,877 --> 00:10:56,278
Yeah, it's gonna get ugly.

240
00:10:56,313 --> 00:10:58,614
I suggest you stay out of it.

241
00:10:58,648 --> 00:11:01,217
Now, if you'll excuse me,
I still need to, uh...

242
00:11:01,251 --> 00:11:02,351
Well, I still need to...

243
00:11:02,385 --> 00:11:04,487
Yeah, well...
All right.

244
00:11:04,521 --> 00:11:07,490
You know, it's kind of nice,

245
00:11:07,524 --> 00:11:11,127
having some
father/son time together.

246
00:11:13,396 --> 00:11:15,498
Come on, April.
You must remember me.

247
00:11:15,532 --> 00:11:17,366
We were on a flight
together from Chicago.

248
00:11:17,400 --> 00:11:18,501
I'm sorry.

249
00:11:18,535 --> 00:11:19,769
Maybe this will help...

250
00:11:19,803 --> 00:11:21,504
"we're all gonna die!
We're all gonna die!"

251
00:11:21,538 --> 00:11:23,506
Oh, Owen!
Right.

252
00:11:23,540 --> 00:11:26,542
Yeah, from the flight
with the light turbulence.

253
00:11:26,576 --> 00:11:27,877
Well, I wouldn't call it light.

254
00:11:27,911 --> 00:11:29,712
Some people did put down
their reading material.

255
00:11:29,746 --> 00:11:32,281
Thanks for stopping by, Owen.

256
00:11:32,315 --> 00:11:33,749
Thanks, Ahmed, I will stay.

257
00:11:33,784 --> 00:11:36,652
April and I have been through
some pretty crazy times...

258
00:11:36,686 --> 00:11:37,753
the pre-board.

259
00:11:37,788 --> 00:11:39,221
The board.

260
00:11:39,256 --> 00:11:41,423
I helped her with
her overhead luggage.

261
00:11:41,458 --> 00:11:42,691
Ahmed, you may not know this,

262
00:11:42,726 --> 00:11:44,560
but April and I sat
in the exit row.

263
00:11:44,594 --> 00:11:47,463
The entire plane's safety
was our responsibility.

264
00:11:48,665 --> 00:11:51,167
Serving with someone
under those conditions

265
00:11:51,201 --> 00:11:53,369
really forms a bond,
right, honey?

266
00:11:53,403 --> 00:11:55,204
I didn't know
you were so funny.

267
00:11:55,238 --> 00:11:57,606
You spent most of the flight
breathing into that paper bag.

268
00:12:00,577 --> 00:12:02,278
April, let's ditch this
idiot and grab some dinner.

269
00:12:02,312 --> 00:12:03,813
Or you could stay here,

270
00:12:03,847 --> 00:12:06,816
and hang out with someone with
a normal amount of body hair.

271
00:12:06,850 --> 00:12:09,652
I'm tired of my body hair
coming out of your mouth.

272
00:12:12,589 --> 00:12:14,824
Let me rephrase that.

273
00:12:14,858 --> 00:12:16,592
You guys are cute.

274
00:12:16,626 --> 00:12:19,195
Why don't we just hang out here
and do some shots?

275
00:12:19,229 --> 00:12:20,696
Sure you can handle that, Owen?

276
00:12:20,730 --> 00:12:22,631
Last time we did shots,
you threw up.

277
00:12:22,666 --> 00:12:23,899
Oh, he did that on the plane.

278
00:12:25,402 --> 00:12:27,403
It's a lot of pressure
in the exit row.

279
00:12:29,873 --> 00:12:31,941
Hey, you racist
pig in a blanket.

280
00:12:31,975 --> 00:12:33,909
You ready to go to funky town?

281
00:12:33,944 --> 00:12:35,778
Oh, that gets the motor going.

282
00:12:35,812 --> 00:12:38,514
Follow me. I'll show you
where they store the good booze.

283
00:12:38,548 --> 00:12:40,616
You just trying to
get my tipsy, right?

284
00:12:40,650 --> 00:12:41,817
Am I that transparent?

285
00:12:41,852 --> 00:12:43,352
Well, you are pretty white.

286
00:12:45,522 --> 00:12:47,823
What's going on there?

287
00:12:47,858 --> 00:12:49,925
Are the two uglies bumping?

288
00:12:49,960 --> 00:12:52,561
I think that's a yes.

289
00:12:52,596 --> 00:12:55,764
I'm putting a room rental
on his tab.

290
00:12:55,799 --> 00:12:57,800
Mom, it's a bar,
not a bordello.

291
00:12:57,834 --> 00:13:00,836
It's called diversifying
your portfolio.

292
00:13:00,871 --> 00:13:03,439
All right, put it on.

293
00:13:03,473 --> 00:13:05,207
Has anyone told Roy?

294
00:13:05,242 --> 00:13:06,642
I don't think so.

295
00:13:07,644 --> 00:13:09,278
I got this.

296
00:13:09,312 --> 00:13:11,747
Stop. Hank's gonna tell him
when the time is right.

297
00:13:11,781 --> 00:13:14,884
It's more fun toell him
when the time is wrong.

298
00:13:16,386 --> 00:13:18,621
Have you seen my mom?

299
00:13:18,655 --> 00:13:20,556
In what context?

300
00:13:20,590 --> 00:13:22,524
In the "is she here?"
Context.

301
00:13:22,559 --> 00:13:25,494
Oh.
When you put it like that...

302
00:13:25,528 --> 00:13:27,496
What was the question again?

303
00:13:27,530 --> 00:13:28,931
My mom.

304
00:13:28,965 --> 00:13:30,799
I tried to call her, but she's
not answering her phone,

305
00:13:30,834 --> 00:13:32,768
so I thought I'd come
down here and surprise her.

306
00:13:32,802 --> 00:13:34,236
Oh, it'll be a surprise.
What?

307
00:13:34,271 --> 00:13:35,905
What?
What?

308
00:13:35,939 --> 00:13:39,275
She keeps butt-dialing me,
but she won't pick up the phone.

309
00:13:40,443 --> 00:13:41,977
Here it goes again.

310
00:13:42,012 --> 00:13:43,846
Hello? Hello?

311
00:13:43,880 --> 00:13:46,982
Just these
weird muffled noises.

312
00:13:47,017 --> 00:13:49,852
Oh, God.

313
00:13:49,886 --> 00:13:51,687
I think she's with a man.

314
00:13:51,721 --> 00:13:53,422
Good guess.
What?

315
00:13:53,456 --> 00:13:56,292
What?
What?

316
00:13:56,326 --> 00:13:58,294
I can't believe it.

317
00:13:58,328 --> 00:14:01,297
Instead of hanging out
and spending time with me,

318
00:14:01,331 --> 00:14:02,965
she's off with some guy.

319
00:14:02,999 --> 00:14:04,233
Oh you won't think so.

320
00:14:04,267 --> 00:14:05,501
What?
What?

321
00:14:05,535 --> 00:14:07,369
I'm not doing this anymore.

322
00:14:07,404 --> 00:14:08,570
Whew!

323
00:14:08,605 --> 00:14:10,239
Mom?

324
00:14:10,273 --> 00:14:12,741
Roy! I thought you were at work.

325
00:14:12,776 --> 00:14:14,743
You weren't answering my calls,
so I came looking for you.

326
00:14:14,778 --> 00:14:17,880
Well, here I am.
So, off to work you go.

327
00:14:17,914 --> 00:14:20,349
Were you just smooching
in the storage room?

328
00:14:20,383 --> 00:14:21,750
Oh, well, maybe.

329
00:14:21,785 --> 00:14:25,287
Well, let's meet the man
who swept you off your feet.

330
00:14:25,322 --> 00:14:27,723
Howdy-do.

331
00:14:29,592 --> 00:14:33,963
All right, you got me.

332
00:14:33,997 --> 00:14:35,698
That's a good one, Steve.

333
00:14:35,732 --> 00:14:37,299
Good one.
And the lipstick, Hank?

334
00:14:37,334 --> 00:14:38,767
Way to commit to the bit.

335
00:14:38,802 --> 00:14:40,736
Roy, there's something
you should know...

336
00:14:40,770 --> 00:14:43,005
your mother and I are
somewhat intimately involved.

337
00:14:48,578 --> 00:14:51,780
Please, for the love of God,
somebody laugh.

338
00:14:57,921 --> 00:14:59,488
You see?

339
00:14:59,522 --> 00:15:02,424
Look at the pain on Roy's face.

340
00:15:02,459 --> 00:15:05,294
This is hilarious.

341
00:15:05,328 --> 00:15:07,863
You just need a little time
to get used to it.

342
00:15:07,897 --> 00:15:11,333
Let me buy you a drink.
What'll you have, my boy?

343
00:15:11,368 --> 00:15:14,436
Hey, now I can call you "boy"
witht tting in trouble.

344
00:15:23,489 --> 00:15:25,456
This isn't happening.
This isn't happening.

345
00:15:25,491 --> 00:15:28,126
This isn't happening. Look... look,
Roy, you've got to calm down.

346
00:15:28,160 --> 00:15:30,361
No, I can't calm down. Can't
calm down. Can't calm down.

347
00:15:30,396 --> 00:15:31,929
I haven't seen you like this

348
00:15:31,964 --> 00:15:33,564
since we snuck into the movies
to see "Scream."

349
00:15:33,599 --> 00:15:35,066
Except for that guy was jumping
on top of a college girl,

350
00:15:35,100 --> 00:15:36,701
and not jumping on top
of my mama!

351
00:15:37,970 --> 00:15:40,071
On top of my mama, on top
of my mama, on top of my mama!

352
00:15:40,105 --> 00:15:42,473
Look... look, Roy, know
it aho to the system.

353
00:15:42,508 --> 00:15:45,476
But... but give it time.
You'll come around.

354
00:15:45,511 --> 00:15:48,613
He's right, Roy.
We're talking about Hank here.

355
00:15:48,647 --> 00:15:50,114
He's a sweetheart.

356
00:15:50,149 --> 00:15:51,582
And it would be
nice for your mom

357
00:15:51,617 --> 00:15:52,684
to have a man in her life.

358
00:15:52,718 --> 00:15:54,252
Yeah, but not a man

359
00:15:54,286 --> 00:15:57,255
that's on the NAACP's
"most wanted" list.

360
00:15:57,289 --> 00:16:00,258
I was on the NAACP's
"most wanted" list.

361
00:16:00,292 --> 00:16:02,627
But it was for
a very different reason.

362
00:16:02,661 --> 00:16:05,963
Carol's right.
Hank's harmless.

363
00:16:05,998 --> 00:16:08,232
Yes, he says things
we all don't like,

364
00:16:08,267 --> 00:16:10,234
but he's got a huge heart.

365
00:16:10,269 --> 00:16:12,637
And not just because
it's enlarged.

366
00:16:12,671 --> 00:16:15,640
I'm sorry. I can't.

367
00:16:15,674 --> 00:16:21,512
Dude's been riding me
my whole life.

368
00:16:21,547 --> 00:16:25,016
But now they're broken.
I don't know what to do.

369
00:16:25,050 --> 00:16:28,419
I had a blast hanging out.
Here's my number.

370
00:16:28,454 --> 00:16:30,154
You guys give me
a call sometime.

371
00:16:30,189 --> 00:16:31,689
Bye.
See you later. Bye.

372
00:16:31,724 --> 00:16:33,424
Cool, she left henumber for me.

373
00:16:33,459 --> 00:16:36,127
No, Ahmed, she left
her number for me.

374
00:16:36,161 --> 00:16:37,729
Okay, so, how do we
know who gets it?

375
00:16:37,763 --> 00:16:39,430
Whoever's name
starts with "o."

376
00:16:39,465 --> 00:16:41,265
Then "oh-med" gets it.

377
00:16:41,300 --> 00:16:42,567
Not yet.

378
00:16:42,601 --> 00:16:44,435
I'm thinking of a number
between 1 and 50.

379
00:16:44,470 --> 00:16:45,670
27.

380
00:16:45,704 --> 00:16:47,705
Damn! How do you
always do that?

381
00:16:47,740 --> 00:16:50,074
You know, Owen,
you could have easily cheated.

382
00:16:50,109 --> 00:16:51,609
You' right.
What number did you say again?

383
00:16:51,643 --> 00:16:52,677
27.

384
00:16:52,711 --> 00:16:54,545
How do you do that?

385
00:16:54,580 --> 00:16:57,048
I'll tell you what,

386
00:16:57,082 --> 00:16:59,450
I'll pay for the beer
and the shots.

387
00:16:59,485 --> 00:17:02,053
Where's my wallet?

388
00:17:02,087 --> 00:17:04,388
Oh, very funny.
Give me back my wallet.

389
00:17:04,423 --> 00:17:06,124
Where's my keys?

390
00:17:06,158 --> 00:17:08,259
Very funny.
Give me back my keys.

391
00:17:08,293 --> 00:17:11,529
I'll give you back your keys
when you give me back my wallet.

392
00:17:11,563 --> 00:17:14,332
Give me back
my frequent yogurt card.

393
00:17:14,366 --> 00:17:16,467
I had eight stamps
on that card.

394
00:17:16,502 --> 00:17:17,568
The next one was free.

395
00:17:19,505 --> 00:17:21,005
Damn!

396
00:17:21,039 --> 00:17:23,007
April ripped us off.

397
00:17:23,041 --> 00:17:25,409
Wait, we can track her down,
she left her number.

398
00:17:25,444 --> 00:17:26,677
It's...

399
00:17:26,712 --> 00:17:31,315
123-456-789...10?

400
00:17:33,352 --> 00:17:36,854
That bitch is gonna get
my free yogurt.

401
00:17:41,527 --> 00:17:44,095
All right, enough.

402
00:17:44,129 --> 00:17:45,463
Hank, I just want...

403
00:17:45,497 --> 00:17:48,733
you're not Hank.

404
00:17:48,767 --> 00:17:51,269
Mom, that's not Hank.
That's Stan the plumber.

405
00:17:51,303 --> 00:17:52,470
I know, son.

406
00:17:52,504 --> 00:17:57,432
It says it right there
on his shirt.

407
00:17:58,768 --> 00:18:00,869
Get out of here, Stan!

408
00:18:00,904 --> 00:18:04,306
Why are you yelling at him?
I'm the one you're mad at.

409
00:18:04,340 --> 00:18:06,575
That's right.
You're embarrassing me.

410
00:18:06,609 --> 00:18:09,444
You know why I don't spend
more time with you, Roy?

411
00:18:09,479 --> 00:18:11,713
Because you are
always judging me.

412
00:18:11,748 --> 00:18:13,515
I didn't used to.

413
00:18:13,549 --> 00:18:15,250
Ever since you and dad
got divorced,

414
00:18:15,285 --> 00:18:17,185
all you do is run around
acting all crazy.

415
00:18:17,220 --> 00:18:20,856
I am not acting crazy.
I am just being myself.

416
00:18:20,890 --> 00:18:24,192
For 35 years, I was who
your daddy wanted me to be,

417
00:18:24,227 --> 00:18:26,428
and the mother
you needed me to be.

418
00:18:26,462 --> 00:18:27,829
I just want us
to get along again.

419
00:18:27,864 --> 00:18:29,531
Well, we'll start
getting along again

420
00:18:29,565 --> 00:18:32,467
if you start accepnge
for who I am.

421
00:18:32,502 --> 00:18:35,370
Right now,
mama's having a little fun.

422
00:18:35,405 --> 00:18:38,307
I just want a little sugar
in my bowl.

423
00:18:40,343 --> 00:18:44,313
Okay.
How about this?

424
00:18:44,347 --> 00:18:47,716
I'll accept you if you
never again talk about

425
00:18:47,750 --> 00:18:49,851
getting sugar in your bowl,

426
00:18:49,886 --> 00:18:52,854
and, for God's sake,
get it at another bar.

427
00:18:52,889 --> 00:18:54,456
And the next time

428
00:18:54,490 --> 00:18:55,724
you feel like there's
something between us,

429
00:18:55,758 --> 00:18:58,460
talk to me about it...
you're my mom.

430
00:18:58,494 --> 00:19:01,430
I can do that.

431
00:19:02,765 --> 00:19:06,134
Thanks, Roy.
I love you, son.

432
00:19:06,169 --> 00:19:07,402
I love you, too.

433
00:19:09,706 --> 00:19:12,307
You know what I don't love?

434
00:19:12,342 --> 00:19:16,478
That I'm the only one using this
bathroom for the right reason.

435
00:19:26,479 --> 00:19:29,879
I am glad you and your mum
are at a better place.

436
00:19:29,880 --> 00:19:31,480
Is Hank okay with that decision?

437
00:19:31,481 --> 00:19:33,681
Yeah, he'll be fine. It's
not like they were in love.

438
00:19:33,782 --> 00:19:38,982
What song should I *** your mum with.
Love me tender or Ebony and ivory?

439
00:19:40,183 --> 00:19:41,483
Oh God.

440
00:19:41,484 --> 00:19:43,284
Someone has to tell him.

441
00:19:43,485 --> 00:19:46,285
- Oh.
- I'll do it. - Nah

442
00:19:46,486 --> 00:19:50,286
it's my mum, my situation.
I've got to do it.

443
00:19:50,487 --> 00:19:52,087
Oh thank God.

444
00:19:52,488 --> 00:19:54,488
Hank, have a seat.

445
00:19:54,489 --> 00:19:58,489
You and my mum are
at two different places.

446
00:19:58,590 --> 00:20:01,490
She wants to play the field,
you want something serious.

447
00:20:01,491 --> 00:20:03,891
I know it was gonna come to this.

448
00:20:03,892 --> 00:20:04,492
You're trying to break us up.

449
00:20:04,893 --> 00:20:08,493
No, I'm not. My mother is seeing other man.

450
00:20:08,494 --> 00:20:09,894
You're full of it.

451
00:20:10,495 --> 00:20:13,495
Hey Stan, were you kissing
my mum in the bathroom?

452
00:20:14,696 --> 00:20:15,996
Get out of here Stan!

453
00:20:17,997 --> 00:20:20,397
- So you're telling the truth?
- Yeah.

454
00:20:20,498 --> 00:20:22,598
Well I guess you're happy.

455
00:20:22,699 --> 00:20:25,199
I mean, I wasn't crazy about it.

456
00:20:25,200 --> 00:20:26,700
But also I don't wanna see you get hurt.

457
00:20:26,701 --> 00:20:31,501
- Oh come on, you do too.
- No, I don't. You're my friend Hank.

458
00:20:32,602 --> 00:20:34,502
Thanks Roy.

459
00:20:35,903 --> 00:20:37,603
Not to sound like a Jew,

460
00:20:37,604 --> 00:20:44,104
but couldn't you told me this
before I put my money in the jukebox?

461
00:20:44,105 --> 00:20:45,805
- Wow.
- Double wow.

462
00:20:45,806 --> 00:20:46,806
Wow wow.

463
00:20:46,807 --> 00:20:48,607
You know what?

464
00:20:48,608 --> 00:20:50,808
I don't feel good about the
way we did this the last time.

465
00:20:50,809 --> 00:20:53,009
Me neither. I don't wanna
make the same mistake again.

466
00:20:55,110 --> 00:20:57,210
Steve, will you hold
on on to our valuables?

467
00:20:57,235 --> 00:21:00,235
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